JLA GIRLS REACT TO VOLCANO AND CAPE FEAR 1991 PT 1
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: The reviews from the Watchtower are in of the critically disastrous box office flop. Ms. Martian calls it "a disaster movie minus the disaster", Hippolyta declares it "a Hell Lava good movie", Wonder Woman raves "Boring" and Hawkgirl says "whoever made this movie should be thrown into a volcano"


**WONDER WOMAN, HIPPOLYTA AND THE JLA GIRLS REACT TO THE MOVIE VOLCANO AND CAPE FEAR 1991 PART 1**

"Well looks like its Ladies' Night for us in the Watchtower! Ivy's at Themysciera babysitting Dinah, the boys are at their corporate retreat in the Bahamas, so we have the whole place to ourselves"

"Hear, hear, Ma!"

"And… I decided that tonight we'd do another YouTube reaction video for our channel"

"Oh goodie. What's the flick for tonight?"

"Volcano"

"Seriously, Mom, out of all the rom-coms and chick flicks, you just HAD to pick a campy 90s disaster movie"

"Uh wrong, it's Tommy Lee Jones, ok? He's my dream husband plus its set in LA!"

"Uh, yeah, and LA is getting roasted quite literally by a big-ass volcano right underneath the ground"

"Now I see why you sent Dinah to Ivy's and Nocturna's for the night"

"Yes, if there's one thing I want for my little birdie, it's that I don't want her to see stuff like this"

"That's excellent mothering"

"Was that sarcasm, Circe?"

"Oh, no, good heavens, no! I'm well amazed at how you raised the child! She's so sweet, innocent and pure. *sighs* she really is a little angel"

"Um, Helena?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"You got the food and drinks for everyone?"

"I sure do, honey, I sure do. Plus I had to pump up Giganta's air mattress since Jason was hopping on it"

"Oh, that's so typical of him"

"Ok, girls, shhhh, the movie's starting"

"Mother, this is the opening ads before the film"

"Oh right. Thank you Diana. And… please don't fall asleep like last time"

"Mother, Dances with Wolves was like, the longest movie ever of all time"

"Diana, have you been into my Red vs. Blue collection again?"

"No, Vicki, I have not"

"That's all I needed to know"

"Ok, oh my goodness gracious! What in Hera's name are those women wearing?"

"Those are called bikinis, Mother and this is Los Angeles Beach"

"Obviously"

"Diana, what are you doing?"

"Fluffing my pillow in case this movie gets too boring"

"Hmm, good idea"

"Whoa! An Earthquake? I didn't expect that to happen"

"Me neither. What, now the San Andreas Fault is collapsing too? Gee whiz, can't LA ever catch a break"  
"in disaster movies, my dear Linda, no"

"Boy, I'd like to see one where LA does _**not**_ get destroyed by aliens or tsunamis or volcanoes or whatever"

"Wishful thinking, Power Girl, wishful thinking"

"aww! There he is! There's my man in his sexy uniform! Mm-mmm!"

"Mother, according to the Internet, he's married"

"aw, phooey. Well I suppose I could try for Bill Cosby…"

"WHAT?!"

"ARE YOU *CENSORED* KIDDING ME?!"

"WHAT THE *CENSORED*"

"ok, ok, ladies, settle down, I was only kidding"

"hey, isn't that Don Cheadle from House of Lies?"

"sure is"

"he's cute. I like my colored men with no hair and a smooth jazzy voice"

"…Mother…."

"Yes, Diana, dear?"

"… sometimes you scare me"

"Hahaha oh my little Diana, always a kidder. C'mere and give your Mama a big hug"

"ack! Mom, you're… mmph! You're suffocating me with your boobs"

"Oh really? As I recall when you and your sisters were little, you loved having me breastfeed you"

"Ok, I've lost my appetite"

"Pfft. Not me, that's for sure"

"Of course not you, Livewire, you're the rambunctious, loose-cannon a-1 rebel girl of the family"

"Da's right, and I'm proud of it!"

"Ok… now we're in… a subway?"

"What the hey's going on in there and OH MY GOD SHE FELL INTO THE LAVA"

"EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!"

"ok, ok, girls calm down, there's no need to get hysterical"  
"…until the volcano erupts"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Thanks a lot Livewire"

"You're welcome"

"Aha! Sarcasm!"

"Ok, seriously, Tommy Lee Jones' daughter in this movie… ooh, she is so *censored* annoying"

"Yeah, I'm rooting for the lava to win"

"WHAT?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

"HOW COULD YOU?"

"Because this movie is very cheesy and is devoid of any emotional plot points"

"ok, she's got us there"

"well at least… AAAAH A METEOR"

"No, sweetie, that's a lava ball"

"oh"

"why'd the fat guy try to run over the lava when he could just- EEEEEYAAAAAAHHHH"

"Ok… this… this is scary"

"Momma, I don't wanna see any more disaster movies"

"Hush, it'll be alright. Once the movie's over, we'll all go to bed and forget it ever happened"

"well, Linda did take me to see Twister"

"Oh, thanks a lot, Kara! You are such a nark!"

"Linda, use nice words to your sister"

"Ok you're right sorry Kara"

"Eh, it's alright"

"And now the lava's going into the ocean and… YES IT'S OVER"

"Well… that was a hell lava boring film"

"I'm hardly surprised I managed to stay awake through it all"

"Well next up, we're watching Cape Fear"

"Uh-oh"

"Um… I'm gonna go get my sleeping bag"

"Me too"

"Me three"

"Same here"

"Good thing Dinah's not watching this, huh?"

"Actually Ivy just texted me saying Dinah is down for the night and she'll bring her home tomorrow morning"

"Oh good"

"ooh, I love these horror movies!"

"Linda! You're scaring Cassie"

"What? I'm not afraid"

"Says the girl who peed her pants after seeing The Visit with me, Mom, Lois and Granny"

"I definitely don't wanna go to Nana Goodness' house after seeing this movie"

"Oh come now kids. Nana's a very kind and very sweet elderly woman"

"I know but her dogs scare me"

"Lois, remember the old saying; you be nice to them, they'll be nice to you"  
"oh, ok"

"um, this movie does have a dog in it and…"

"Stop! Please don't tell me anymore!"

"ok, ok! Gee whiz! You're much of a scaredy-cat than Dinah"

"Hey, Juliette Lewis"

"who is she talking to?"

"um, the audience aka us, duh"

"oh judging by the bulging tattoos on his back, I'll assume that's Robert DeNiro"

"Mm-hmm"

"is this set in Louisiana or something?"

"nah, more like Florida, if you ask me"

"Ooh! Scary thunder… not a good sign about this guy"

"ooh! Jessica Lange from American Horror Story"

"yes, and Vicki and Linda, you will be allowed to watch one episode per day of that show ever since you scared Dinah with the asylum season"

"oh, it was a one-time-thing, mother, come on"

"Im serious, your poor baby sister refused to come out of her room thinking she'd be dragged to that disgusting madhouse against her will"

"ok, we'll make it up to her"

"I know you will, or someone won't be getting tickets to the New Year's Eve iHeartRadio bash"

"ok, ok! We'll apologize to Dinah and give her a gift"

"that's the right thing to do, girls. You're starting to act more like an eloquent young lady" 


End file.
